Dear Bunmi,

After about four years of marriage, I left my husband because of his responsibility.I now live in a comfortable flat with my two young children. Since I started dating, I seem to prefer younger men. Some as much as six years younger. I am in my early thirties and my friends keep making fun of me even when such men earn more than I do. Does my attraction to younger men mean I am a pervert? Older men really bore me as they don’t make the efforts younger men do.

Obum, by e-mail.

Dear Obum, Being attracted to younger men and acting on it are two separate issues. However, since your partners are not married men, getting together with someone younger doesn’t make you a pervert. This is another one of those double standards that women have to endure. Nobody would hassle a 40-year-old man for hooking up with a 25-year-old woman and there could be a number of reasons why you’re attracted to these fresh-faced men, one of which you have stated in your letter. Maybe they pay you more attention or you feel more secured around them, and therefore, feel more attractive. Whatever the reasons, going out with younger men can bring its challenges and your friends might be mocking you because they’re jealous of your having a good time! Believe me, there are thousands of women out there enjoying great relationships with younger men. So go for it!




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